Even My Coffee Wasn't Safe Enough

I switched to decaf because regular coffee made me jittery during my restriction phase. Thought I was being so careful, so health-conscious. Then I read about the chemicals. Methylene chloride. Ethyl acetate. Suddenly my "safe" drink wasn't safe anymore. I spent twenty minutes in the coffee aisle reading labels. Swiss Water Process. Carbon dioxide extraction. I memorized which brands used which methods. My friend grabbed regular coffee without reading anything. Just grabbed it and left. I stood there holding my carefully researched decaf, realizing this wasn't about coffee anymore. It was about control. About finding the perfect choice that didn't exist. Even my morning ritual had become another thing to optimize, another way to fail at being flawless. Some days I miss just wanting coffee because it tasted good. #FoodAnxiety #ControlIsExhausting #PerfectionTrap #Health #Diet