The Cup of Beans I Ate Alone

Tonight, I measured out exactly one cup of chickpeas. I told myself it was for my heart, for my future, for the numbers I can’t see but know are quietly ticking up or down inside me. I read somewhere that beans could lower cholesterol, that it was a small change with big results. I wanted to believe that, so I made it a rule. But as I sat at the table, spooning each bite, I couldn’t stop thinking about the other numbers—the ones on the scale, the ones I used to chase, the ones that still haunt me. I wondered if eating this way was care or just another form of control. I wanted to feel proud, but mostly I just felt tired. Sometimes, it’s not about what you eat. It’s about what you’re trying to fix. #Health #Diet #FoodGuilt