Why I Counted Every Almond

I used to read lists like '11 Snacks Cardiologists Warn Against' and feel a strange mix of relief and panic. Relief, because rules made things simple. Panic, because every snack became a test I could fail. I remember standing in the kitchen, weighing out exactly 12 almonds—never more, never less. I’d stare at the box of cereal, calculating sugar grams, then put it back, heart pounding, as if just wanting it was already a mistake. It wasn’t about heart health. It was about control. About believing that if I could just eat perfectly, maybe I’d finally feel safe in my own body. But the more I tried to get it right, the more I felt like I was disappearing. Sometimes I wonder if anyone else counts their worth in handfuls. #Health #Diet #FoodGuilt