26 November 2025
The Secret the Founders Never Intended Us to Know
THE COURTYARD CHRONICLE
There are certain truths the realm never meant for us to hear, and none more astonishing than the real beginning of the Ceremony of Gratitude. A retired Keeper of the King’s Bench confessed it after too much brandy, whispering that the entire tradition began with Lord Thaddeus Bramblewick, a nobleman whose ambition far exceeded his wisdom.
Bramblewick sailed to the new world with an enormous flock of turkeys, certain he could sell them to traveling performers. He imagined them dancing, balancing on barrels, tapping rhythms with their beaks. Instead, they shrieked, wandered, and refused every command. His scheme collapsed instantly.
Desperate, he pushed the birds upon cooks as delicacies. They refused. The creatures were oversized, tough, and stubborn in every way. Plates returned untouched. His humiliation grew by the hour.
Cornered, Bramblewick created a solution so bold it became legend. He declared the turkey a noble emblem of the new world and insisted it be honored with an annual Ceremony of Gratitude. Settlers, moved by his confidence, embraced the proclamation without hesitation. Size became grandeur. Difficulty became virtue. The noble tribes watched in disbelief, for they had long considered the turkey a last-resort bird for harsh winters, not celebration.
Those who remember the scandal left behind a single whispered confession.
If truth was served at the table, it would be the smallest dish.
And so the Ceremony of Gratitude was born not from unity or reverence, but from one lord’s pride and a flock he could neither sell nor train.
SOCIAL FOOTNOTES AND WHISPERED REMARKS
Some say Bramblewick died smiling at the realm honoring his mistake.
Others swear cooks still curse his name each autumn.
Another claims tradition is simply a clever disguise for an old blunder.
Tell me, dear reader. When you join the Ceremony of Gratitude, do you honor history, or merely help
