My House Is Now an Onion Shrine

I underestimated onions. 25 pounds sounded ambitious, but not catastrophic. Fast forward: every surface, fabric, and even my hair is infused with Eau de Allium. I tried everything—windows wide open, fans blasting, candles burning like a séance. Nothing. Desperate, I boiled orange peels and dumped half a bottle of vanilla extract into a pot. Now my kitchen smells like a citrus bakery that’s hiding a secret onion dungeon. Onion rings for dinner? Obviously. The new range hood is working overtime, probably filing a complaint with HR. Pro tip: If you’re going to wage war on onions, do it outside, or at least bribe your neighbors with caramelized goodness. Tomorrow, I’ll probably still smell like a French bistro, but at least I’ll have enough onions to feed a small army. Or repel one. To everyone in the onion trenches: solidarity. We’ll get through this, one tear at a time. #onionlife #kitchenfails #foodstories #relatable #homecooking #Food #Foodie