Met My Girlfriend’s Parents. Nearly Blacked Out.

Okay, I have to get this off my chest because I’m still sweating just thinking about it. Meeting my girlfriend’s parents for the first time was like prepping for a job interview where the job is ‘Don’t Ruin Her Life.’ I googled them, stalked their Facebooks, even practiced saying ‘Mr. and Mrs.’ in the mirror. I wore a shirt so stiff it could stand up by itself. I showed up ten minutes early, clutching a bottle of wine I prayed wasn’t cheap. Smiled so hard my face hurt. Tried to remember every random fact my girlfriend fed me (her mom’s obsessed with orchids, her dad hates politics, don’t mention the ex). I even offered to do the dishes and nearly dropped a plate. The whole time, I was so focused on being ‘perfect’ I barely remembered to breathe. Honestly? I wish I’d just chilled out and been myself. If you’re reading this at 2AM panicking, trust me: they’re just people. You’ll survive. (But maybe skip the cologne. Her dad still sneezed for like 20 minutes.) #NoFilter #FamilyDrama #AdultingFail #RomanticRelationships