My Cat Just Claimed Me as Furniture

So apparently, my lap is now prime real estate. I sat down for two seconds—TWO—and suddenly my cat is sprawled across me like he pays rent. The audacity. He’s purring like a tiny engine, kneading my leg, and giving me that look: "You weren’t planning to move, right?" I had plans. I had coffee to make. But now I’m a hostage to this furry dictator. Every time I try to shift, he tightens his grip and shoots me the most dramatic betrayal face. Honestly, it’s kind of flattering to be chosen. But also, can someone please send snacks? I may never get up again. Pet owners, you know the drill. We don’t own cats—they own us. #CatLife #PetProblems #LapCat #Pets