I Measured One Thing. The World Moved On.

Lab notebook, unsent: I spent six months tracking bird migration, one variable at a time, like the protocol said. Birth rates, elevation, latitude—each in its own column, each in its own lonely spreadsheet. I thought if I measured enough, I’d see the whole picture. But the data never lined up. My advisor called it a gap in the literature. I called it a gap in my brain. Every grant rejection said the same thing: 'Not holistic enough.' As if I could hold the whole ecosystem in my hands. As if I wasn’t already drowning in what I couldn’t see. The animals are adapting faster than I can type. I keep rerunning the same models, hoping for clarity, but mostly I just feel behind. Sometimes I wonder if I’m the missing piece—too slow, too tired, not quite sophisticated enough. #ScienceFatigue #ImposterInTheRoom #LabBurnout #Science