I Found the Vent. I Lost Myself Down There

The Jøtul Field. Two miles under the Arctic, where the light doesn’t reach and the pressure makes your ears ring. We found the vent, sure. Methane readings off the charts. My PI called it a breakthrough. I called it another night I didn’t sleep. I used to think discovery would feel like relief. But after months of watching the ROV feed, logging numbers that didn’t add up, and wondering if the grant would run out before the data made sense, all I felt was empty. My inbox was full of congratulations. My head was full of static. No one tells you that the deeper you go, the more you lose track of which questions matter. Or if you’re even asking the right ones. Sometimes I wonder if the ocean is just reflecting back how lost I am. I still care. I just don’t know what it’s costing anymore. #ScienceFatigue #LabBurnout #DeepSeaDoubt #Science