I Wrote Poems to Survive School

I started writing poems because I needed somewhere to put the feelings school wouldn’t let me have. The first one was about a window in the library, because that’s where I’d go after another test I’d half-remember taking, hands shaking, eyes burning. They say write what you know, but what I knew was the sound of my own heart racing at 3AM, the way the word "potential" started to sound like a threat. I wrote about places I’d never been because my world was just classrooms and the inside of my head. I wrote about nature because I couldn’t remember the last time I saw sunlight that wasn’t filtered through a deadline. Every poem was a confession I couldn’t say out loud: I’m tired. I’m scared. I don’t know who I am if I’m not doing well. I’d write about memories, but they all felt like someone else’s life. I’d write about feelings, but they’d come out sounding like someone else’s voice. I kept revising, drafting, crossing out lines that felt too honest. I wanted to make something beautiful out of the mess, but most days it just felt like another assignment I was failing. Poetry was supposed to help me heal. Mostly, it just helped me admit I was hurting. #AcademicBurnout #WritingToCope #CollegeReality #Education