“I’m Rooting for You”—But I’m Not Okay

I used to love hearing, “I’m rooting for you.” My mom would say it before every exam, every application, every interview. Friends texted it with exclamation points. Professors wrote it in the margins of my essays. I thought it meant I was seen, that I mattered, that I was on the right track. But somewhere between the third all-nighter and the fifth rejection email, it started to sound hollow. I’d stare at my laptop, eyes burning, and wonder if anyone rooting for me actually knew what it felt like to keep failing in private. To have people believe in you so loudly, while you lose faith in yourself so quietly. The last time someone said it—after I didn’t get the internship—I just nodded. I wanted to say, “Please stop. I don’t need more hope. I need this to not hurt so much.” Now, when I hear “I’m rooting for you,” I feel exposed. Like I’m letting everyone down, not just myself. Like every cheer is another reminder that I’m not who they think I am. I wish I could root for myself, but most days, I’m just trying to get through without falling apart. #AcademicBurnout #CollegeReality #NotJustGrades #Education