We Found Signals. I Lost My Certainty

I used to think the hardest part of science was the cold. Antarctica, endless white, the hum of the balloon launch. But it’s the silence after the data comes in—the kind that doesn’t fit, doesn’t match, doesn’t make sense—that really gets you. We spent months chasing neutrinos, convinced we’d catch a piece of the universe. Instead, the radio waves came from under the ice, impossible angles, impossible answers. I cross-checked, recalculated, asked the same questions until my brain felt numb. Nothing lined up. Not with theory, not with the other teams, not even with hope. My PI called it a mystery. I called it another night alone with the numbers, wondering if I’m the problem the data can’t explain. #ScienceFatigue #ImposterInTheRoom #LabBurnout #Science