I Tried to Have a Good Day—And Failed

I wake up and the first thing I feel is dread. Not because something terrible happened, but because I know what’s coming: another day of pretending I’m okay, that I can handle the weight of all these expectations. I read all those lists about how to have a good day—get sunlight, eat a nice breakfast, make a to-do list. I try. I walk outside, let the sun hit my face, but it just feels like I’m standing in a spotlight, exposed. I eat my eggs and toast, but my stomach is already in knots thinking about everything I have to do. I write out my tasks, but the list just reminds me how behind I am. I try to focus on one thing at a time, but my mind keeps jumping to the next deadline, the next thing I’ll probably mess up. I see people who seem to float through their days, and I wonder what it’s like to not feel this constant pressure. I try to relax, to be mindful, but all I can think about is how much I’m failing at being present. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted from trying so hard to have a good day. I set out my clothes for tomorrow, hoping maybe I’ll wake up and it’ll be easier. But I know I’ll just be tired again, trying to convince myself that a walk in the sun can fix something much deeper. #AcademicBurnout #CollegeReality #NotJustGrades #Education