The Sun Was Out. I Was Still in the Lab

Summer solstice. The longest day of the year, and I watched the sunrise through the same grimy window, pipette in hand, pretending the light meant something. The world outside was all renewal and clarity—inside, I was just running the same protocol, again, because the last four tries failed. I read somewhere that this is a time for 'awakening to your purpose.' My advisor calls it a 'powerful season for progress.' But my only illumination is the blue glow of the PCR machine at 2am, and the only thing growing is the pile of failed gels in the trash. I used to think the solstice was a portal. Now it’s just another day I can’t remember why I started. But I keep showing up, because quitting would mean admitting how much it cost to stay. #LabBurnout #ScienceFatigue #GradSchoolLife #Science