The data kept moving north. First Boston, then Halifax, then territories I'd never imagined. Like some predator, I followed every promising result deeper into academic waters that felt increasingly cold. My encounters with rejection surged. Nineteen grants this year across forty-seven funding bodies. Each documented, tracked, analyzed like I'm studying my own extinction. My family calls it obsession. They see headlines about researcher breakdowns and assume we're all one failed experiment from drowning. The statistics comfort me—fatal career endings remain rare, even if the fear feels constant. I've become something unrecognizable. Swimming in circles, chasing prey just out of reach, terrifying everyone who knew me before I learned to hunt like this. The seals moved north. So did I. Now I can't find my way back to warmer waters. #Science #LabBurnout #GradSchoolLife