Lab notebook, unsent draft. They’ll write that we discovered a new cat in the Andes. What they won’t write: how many nights I spent freezing in a tent, lungs burning, wondering if any of this would matter. The first time the camera trap caught that silver blur, I felt something like hope. The fifth time, I felt nothing. I stopped telling my family where I was. I stopped telling myself why I was still here. DNA results came in at 2:17 a.m. I stared at the screen, numb. It was a new species. I was supposed to feel awe. Instead, I felt empty. The grant money was gone. My advisor called it a career-defining moment. I just wanted to sleep. They’ll say we proved something about biodiversity. I wish I could say I proved something to myself. But all I learned is how much you can lose chasing something no one else will ever see. #Science #ScienceFatigue #FieldworkBurnout