43% dead. 21% declining. I write these numbers in my field notebook like they're just data points, not centuries of life I'm watching collapse. The limber pines I study are older than this country. Some sprouted when Shakespeare was still alive. Now I tag them with metal bands and GPS coordinates, documenting their slow death from blister rust—an invasive fungus they never evolved to fight. My advisor calls it 'valuable longitudinal research.' I call it watching 500-year-old giants suffocate while I take measurements. The healthy ones—just 37% now—look at me like they know what's coming. I chose ecology to save things. Instead, I've become a coroner for ancient forests. Every field season, fewer survivors. Every report, more red flags no one with funding seems to hear. Some days I wonder if documenting the end makes me complicit in it. #Science #EcoGrief #ScienceFatigue