My struggle is ongoing. I struggle with a broken family who I love and wish could be repaired, thing is the system broke us up somewhat. I also played a part in it by being selfish and jealous so long ago. I am not totally to blame although I made many a mistakes by being a teenage parent, making bad relationship choices and although I tried to be a good parent (no drinking or drugs) I guess I fell short because some of my children dont even speak to me. How honest is that? It's a struggle to be at a job where I will never advance due to friends promoting friends but here I must stay because I am not college educated (on paper) and its the best place for me because I am 1/2 of a team who is raising a toddler because his mother is incapable due to illness as she is a family member who I love so there is no option. I am in my late 50's and after taking a class and becoming a counselor some opportunities started to open up for me professionally to better myself financially and professionally but its off the table because I'm the part of the team who is expendable due to someone having to sacrifice. Since I am the poorer of the 2 its me. However, the good people in my life say I saved a life, I say this child saved mine. I found out that I have the true capacity to love and change. Although I have on-going battles to try and keep this child in our lives as it is best for him I realize that I have the strength to tolerate abuse from co-workers, court systems, family members and anything or anyone else if it allows him to remain in our little circle where he is safe, well cared for and loved. Most times I feel beat down, sad, ashamed and like I am nothing but I am lucky to have a few good people in my life who believe in me and lift me up and make me realize that I am a helper, I do good works for my community, I try and be honest as you can see by this post and that I want better for myself and others. #TheStruggleIsRea