As an in-law I totally get it. My son in law’s mother insists on every holiday. They live with me so I see them everyday. My feelings aren’t hurt. Not worth the hassle. My daughter and I pick a day for us to celebrate. I want my four year old to know all of his extended family. Almost all on my side is deceased. My other grandkids are grown and have lives of their own in another city about 5 hours away. Not celebrating on the actual day allows them a better opportunity to schedule time off. Frankly, having a day to myself after all the holiday prep is welcomed.