THE FIVE STAR HOLDING CELL A Courtyard Gazette Sheet Report In the distant province of Kerala there stands a modest outpost known as the Aluva West Police Station. One would expect the usual tales of stern officers and dreary corridors. Instead the townsfolk have offered a review that has traveled farther than any official proclamation. A certain gentleman named Visakh stepped forward to praise the establishment with the warmth one usually reserves for a beloved inn. He declared that he had been arrested four times and found each stay quite agreeable. No mask. No helmet. No license. Yet always a pleasant atmosphere and friendly staff. According to his testimony the station is never boring and he recommends it for everyone as though he were inviting guests to a seasonal retreat. The kingdom watches in quiet amazement. When a man speaks fondly of his arrests one begins to suspect that hospitality has overtaken punishment. What enchantment exists within those walls. What tea do they serve. What comfort is offered that a former detainee now speaks as its unofficial ambassador. Perhaps the officers have mastered the ancient art of keeping spirits strangely high while liberties are momentarily withheld. SOCIAL FOOTNOTES AND WHISPERED REMARKS Some believe the man enjoyed himself far more than he should have. Some wonder how many visits it takes to earn a loyalty card. Some suspect the officers now fear he will return simply to update his review. Closer. When a holding cell becomes a holiday recommendation the world has shifted in ways no scholar can explain.