Lowering My Voice Didn’t Fix Me
I used to practice lowering my voice in the bathroom mirror before class. I’d hum, breathe from my stomach, try to find that deeper, steadier sound. I read all the guides—diaphragm, resonance, don’t force it, don’t get caught. I wanted to sound confident, grown, like someone people listened to.
But the truth is, it was never just about my voice. It was about every time I spoke up in class and felt too small, too easy to ignore. It was about wishing I could change something about myself—anything—to finally fit the part. I tried to make it a habit, to fake it until it stuck. But every time I slipped back into my old voice, it felt like failing at something invisible.
I thought if I could just sound different, maybe I’d feel different. Maybe I’d stop feeling like I was pretending to belong here. But all the breathing exercises in the world can’t fix the way it feels to always be performing, to never quite arrive.
I still catch myself lowering my voice when I answer a question or introduce myself. It’s automatic now. But it never made me feel more real. Just more tired.
#Education #IdentityStruggle #CampusConfessions
