I Saw NGC 7008. I Still Felt Small.
The sky is full of nebulae, but tonight it’s just me, a cheap telescope, and the Fetus Nebula—NGC 7008. I spent hours trying to find it, squinting at star charts, hands shaking from too much coffee and not enough sleep. They say it’s bright, a beginner’s challenge. I’m supposed to feel wonder. Instead, I feel like I’m failing at something that’s supposed to be easy.
I think about Herschel, discovering this in 1787, probably colder and lonelier than I am. I wonder if he ever doubted himself, or if the sky just gave him answers. I stare at that faint smudge of light and try to convince myself it matters that I found it. But the silence is heavy. The nebula is a light-year across, but all I can see is how small I am, how tired I am, how much I want this to mean something.
#ScienceFatigue #ImposterInTheRoom #StargazerConfessions #Science
