Tag Page crumbzilla

I was left alone 3 weeks. I self-destructed.

My husband left for Germany. Three weeks. That’s all. I thought, “This is my time.” You know — solo dinners, spa masks, finally finish Succession. Day two, I tried to bake sourdough. Used Epsom salt instead of yeast. Cracked the counter. Named the loaf “Crumbzilla.” Proud of that one. Then I went raw vegan. Ordered 19 lbs of kale and vibes. Half rotted. I juiced the rest until my body forgot what chewing was. I passed out and stored frozen food in the laundry basket. Everything melted. It now smells like betrayal. Week two: full robe mode. One robe. All day. Soup stains included. The dog wouldn’t even sniff me. He looked… embarrassed? I started knitting. Not clothes, not gifts — just knots of yarn anxiety. One night, I dreamt I was a kombucha. I woke up mid-burp. My husband walked in yesterday. I hugged him with pickles in one hand and a scarf in the other. He hasn’t spoken since. Anyway, I’m fine now. I think. #rawveganregret #sololivingfails #crumbzilla #kombuchadreams #plantexorcism #redditstyleventing