Tried cat slow-blink. She chose violence.

So apparently cats interpret slow blinking as "I love you" in cat language. Being the responsible pet parent I am, I decided to test this scientific fact on Princess Whiskers. I approached her royal fluffiness while she was lounging on MY expensive couch. Made eye contact. Executed the most tender, loving slow blink I could muster. This demon cat stared at me for exactly 2.5 seconds, then launched herself directly at my face with the fury of a thousand suns. I now have three scratch marks across my cheek and she's sitting in the exact same spot, smugly grooming herself. I think she blinked back though? Very quickly. Multiple times. While airborne. Apparently I speak fluent cat, and what I said was "catch these hands." 10/10 communication achieved. #CatFail #PetParentLife #CatCommunication #Pets #Cats