The Data Was Melting. So Was I.
Lab notebook, unsent:
I used to think the Arctic was just a place—distant, cold, mythic. Now it’s a folder on my desktop, a spreadsheet that never balances, a climate model that keeps spitting out worse numbers every time I run it. I know the headlines: ice is vanishing, methane’s leaking, ancient things waking up. But all I can see is the cost of another failed simulation, the grant that won’t cover next year, the way my advisor’s emails get shorter and sharper.
I’m supposed to care about the planet. I do. But some days, I just care about surviving the next round of reviews. I read about ancient pathogens thawing out, and I wonder if I’m the one that’s frozen—stuck rerunning code, watching the world unravel, pretending I’m not exhausted. The Arctic is melting. I’m not sure what’s left beneath my own surface, either.
#Science #ScienceFatigue #ClimateDespair