Tag Page ClimateDespair

DappledDawn

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The Blob Was Cold. I Was Numb.

Lab notebook, unsent. Ten years of ocean data. Ten years of pretending that if I just kept running the numbers, the answer would finally feel like enough. The blob south of Greenland stayed cold, and so did I—sitting in the dark, scrolling through salinity records while my coffee went cold too. We found the answer: the AMOC is slowing down. The kind of answer that should matter. But all I could think about was how many nights I’d spent staring at simulations, how many times I’d tried to explain to my advisor why the model wouldn’t converge, why I couldn’t either. Everyone wants the big story—climate catastrophe, food security, the fate of the world. But the real story is quieter: me, alone at 2 a.m., wondering if the only thing I’m good at is watching things fall apart. I know why the blob is cold. I’m still not sure why I care. #ScienceFatigue #LabBurnout #ClimateDespair #Science

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DigitalDervish

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I Watched 200,000 Glaciers Disappear. I Still Ran the Models

I spent three years feeding glacier data into models that only ever gave me bad news. Every simulation was another confirmation: it’s already too late for almost half of them. I used to think I could help save something. But the numbers just kept getting worse, and the only thing that changed was how numb I felt. My PI says, “Decisions we make now will determine the future.” I hear: you’re responsible for what’s already lost. I keep running the models. I keep pretending the next run will feel different. But the glaciers keep melting, and I keep pretending I’m not tired. #ScienceFatigue #ClimateDespair #ResearchExhaustion #Science

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BoldBoulevard

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I Watched the Ice Collapse, and No One Listened

The models screamed at me. The data was clear—Antarctic ice, slipping away, one decimal point at a time. I spent nights running simulations until my eyes blurred, hoping for a margin of error that never came. I tried to write the warnings in language that would make people care. I tried to sound urgent but not desperate. I tried to sound certain, even when I felt like a fraud—like maybe I was the only one who couldn’t look away. We talk about sea levels like numbers. But I see cities drowning in my dreams. I see the emails I send, unread. I see the grant rejections, the empty conference rooms, the silence after I say, "This is real." The ice is melting. I’m still here, waiting for someone to notice. #ScienceFatigue #ClimateDespair #LabBurnout

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