Tag: ControlIsExhausting

#ControlIsExhausting

SerendipitySeeker

Hunger That Doesn’t Go Away

It’s not just hunger. It’s the kind that sits in your stomach and makes you question if you’re actually hungry or if your body is just trying to tell you something else. I ate breakfast, then lunch, then something else, but the emptiness didn’t leave. Sometimes I wonder if I’m eating to fill a hole that food can’t reach. I keep a jar of applesauce by my side, spooning it in slowly, hoping it’ll settle things. I’ve googled symptoms, checked my meds, told myself it’s probably nothing. But every time my stomach growls, I feel a flicker of anxiety—like maybe I’m missing something, or maybe I’m just too tuned in to every signal my body sends. It’s strange how a day of hunger can make you feel so out of control. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #BodyCheckChronicles #Health #Diet

WraithJet

The Protein Powder Nobody Talks About

I used to think every new supplement was a step closer to the version of myself I was supposed to be. No dairy, so I cycled through pea, soy, and egg white protein, chasing that clean, efficient feeling. The first time my wife wrinkled her nose and said my breath smelled like sulfur, I laughed it off. The second time, I brushed my teeth twice. By the third, I stopped mentioning what I was putting in my shakes. I thought if I could just find the right powder, the right routine, maybe I’d finally feel like I was doing it right. But all I remember is the taste of shame, heavy in my mouth, every time she noticed. I wonder if anyone else is this tired of trying to fix themselves, one scoop at a time. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #NotJustAboutTheScale #Health #Diet

JazzJester

When Healthy Isn’t Enough Anymore

Dinner is grilled chicken, broccoli, and brown rice—again. I stare at the plate, remembering when this meal used to mean control, pride, even a little hope. Now it just feels like a ritual I can’t quit, even though the scale keeps inching up. I run more miles, cut out snacks, say no to dessert. The weight stays. I check my reflection in the oven door, searching for the old version of me. She’s gone, replaced by someone I barely recognize—someone who did everything right and still lost the game. Tonight, I eat slowly, trying to convince myself this is enough. Maybe it has to be. Maybe I have to be. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #BodyCheckChronicles #Health #Diet

TranquilTide

When I Stopped Eating Cake, I Lost More Than Sugar

I used to believe every sweet bite was a setback. I’d skip cake at birthdays, sip water while friends clinked glasses of soda, and tell myself it was discipline. But the truth is, I was scared—of losing control, of what the scale might say, of what I might become if I let myself enjoy anything. The irony: the more I restricted, the less alive I felt. I watched others laugh over pastries, and all I could think about was the number I was trying to outrun. I thought I was protecting my heart, but it just felt emptier. Sometimes, I wonder if the real harm wasn’t in the sugar, but in how much I feared it. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #NotJustAboutTheScale #Health #Diet

NebulaNomad

Why I Drank Diet Soda Instead of Eating Lunch

I used to keep a row of diet sodas lined up in the fridge, like trophies for willpower. Zero calories, zero guilt—at least, that’s what I told myself. Most days, I’d crack one open instead of eating lunch. The fizz filled the silence, the sweetness filled the ache. I’d scroll through forums, searching for proof that this counted as discipline, not damage. No one warned me that the emptiness would linger long after the can was empty. I wanted answers about fat loss, but what I really wanted was permission to let myself be hungry, or full, or anything at all. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #NotJustAboutTheScale #Health #Diet

HyperNova7

I Only Drank Water Before Meals. Here’s What Happened

I read somewhere that drinking two glasses of water before eating would help me lose weight. It sounded simple—almost harmless. So I made it a rule. Water first, always. The first week, I felt proud every time I filled my glass. But soon, it became less about hydration and more about control. I’d stare at my plate, stomach full of water, and wonder if I was actually hungry or just following another rule. Some days, I’d forget and feel guilty, like I’d failed at something bigger than just drinking water. The scale moved, but my anxiety didn’t. I was lighter, but never satisfied. I still catch myself reaching for my water bottle before meals, hoping it’ll quiet the noise in my head, even when I know it won’t. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #BodyCheckChronicles #Health #Diet

JazzJaguar

I Swallowed My Shame in Capsules

I used to carry a pill organizer like it was proof I cared about my health. Green powder capsules, vegetable blends, fiber supplements. Six pills with breakfast because I couldn't trust myself to eat an actual salad without spiraling into calorie math. It felt safer than vegetables. Pills don't have texture I could obsess over. No weighing, no guilt about dressing, no wondering if I "deserved" the nutrients. The morning I realized I was taking twelve supplements but hadn't eaten a real vegetable in days, something cracked. I wasn't supplementing my diet. I was replacing it with the illusion of control. My therapist asked what I was really trying to swallow. Turns out it wasn't vitamins. Now I eat messy salads with too much dressing. My pill organizer sits empty in the drawer, and somehow I feel more nourished than ever. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #SupplementShame #Health #Diet

PuzzledPenguin

When 'Healthy' Became Another Obsession

It started with gut health. I read somewhere that a happy gut meant better workouts, clearer skin, maybe even a lighter mood. So I tracked everything: fiber grams, fermented foods, water ounces. I told myself it was about feeling good, but really, it was about control. Every meal became a test. Did I eat enough plants? Was that yogurt probiotic-rich or just a label? If I felt tired, I blamed myself for not optimizing enough. If my stomach hurt, I panicked about what I’d done wrong. Sometimes I miss when food was just food. Now, even hunger feels like a quiz I’m failing. I wanted to be healthy. I ended up exhausted. #ControlIsExhausting #FoodGuilt #GutHealthStruggles #Health #Diet

StellarStrider

I Thought Baking Soda Would Fix It

Last night, I stood in the kitchen, staring at the box of baking soda. I’d read somewhere it could help with bloating. I didn’t bother dissolving it—just tipped a spoonful into my mouth and swallowed, desperate for relief from a body I’m always trying to shrink or soothe. Ten hours later, my stomach twisted with cramps and regret. I kept searching for answers online, but what I really wanted was reassurance that I hadn’t done something stupid—again. I’m not sure what hurts more: my gut or the way I keep chasing quick fixes, hoping they’ll quiet the noise in my head. It’s never just about the food. It’s the ache of wanting to feel okay in my own skin, even for a moment. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #BodyCheckChronicles #Health #Diet

QuasarQuixotic

I Chased Health Until It Broke Me

I had a drawer full of bottles. Vitamin E for skin. Bitter orange for fat burning. Guarana for energy when I was too tired from undereating. I thought I was being healthy. Responsible. In control. Then my doctor said the numbers: 160/95. High blood pressure. At 28. "Stop everything," she said, scanning my supplement list. "The vitamin E, the bitter orange, all of it." I stared at my little army of pills. The ones that made me feel like I was doing something right when everything else felt wrong. The vitamin D I overdosed on. The herbs that promised energy I couldn't find in food. My blood pressure wasn't just high—it was angry. And I realized I'd been poisoning myself in the name of perfection. The bottles are gone now. My body is learning to trust itself again. #HealthAnxiety #SupplementTrap #ControlIsExhausting #Health #Diet

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