My Spotify Knew My Eating Disorder

I used to think I was just particular about ambiance. Slow jazz during dinner. Always. Classical for meal prep. Upbeat pop was banned from my kitchen—too stimulating, made me eat faster. I had playlists for everything: "Mindful Eating," "Grocery Store Calm," "Cooking Focus." I told myself it was about wellness. Creating the perfect environment for healthy choices. But really? I was trying to hack my own hunger. Control every variable that might make me eat one bite more than planned. The research was my excuse. Studies show slower tempo music makes you eat less, choose better foods. I memorized those facts like scripture. One night, mid-bite of carefully portioned dinner, Spotify shuffled to something faster. I literally paused, fork halfway to my mouth, and changed it back. That's when I realized: I wasn't curating playlists. I was curating a cage. Even my music had become about restriction. #ControlIsExhausting #FoodGuilt #MaintenanceMode #Health #Diet