Why I Counted Every Blueberry

Dinner tonight: a bowl of spinach, some carrots, a handful of blueberries. I tell myself it’s for my eyes—lutein, beta-carotene, anthocyanins. I read somewhere that these things matter. But the truth is, I know the numbers before I taste the food. I used to think if I just ate the right things, I’d feel safe in my body. But every bite comes with a calculation. Every healthy choice is a test I can fail. I want to believe I’m doing this for my health, but sometimes it feels like I’m just trying to control something—anything. Most days, I can’t tell if I’m nourishing myself or just keeping score. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #NotJustAboutTheScale #Health #Diet