Why I Counted Every Almond

Two handfuls of mixed nuts daily. Sixty grams exactly. I read every study, memorized every benefit—memory boost, brain health, antioxidants. Perfect justification for my perfectly controlled portions. I weighed them on my kitchen scale. Twenty-eight almonds, fifteen cashews, twelve walnuts. Never more. The research said it would improve my memory by 16%. Ironic, really. My memory got sharper while I tried desperately to forget the number on the scale that morning. Tried to forget how my jeans felt. Tried to forget that even my 'healthy' choices needed measuring. I can still recite every calorie count, every macro breakdown. My brain function improved, just like the study promised. But somehow I lost the ability to eat without calculating, to snack without shame. Now I know: having a better memory isn't always a gift when you're trying to forget how exhausting it is to live this way. #FoodGuilt #ControlIsExhausting #MaintenanceMode #Health #Diet